"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep."

Monday, January 15, 2007

24 - The Season Premiere's Opening Scene

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The scene is Los Angeles California, a C-130 taxies onto an unnamed military airfield. Federal Agent Jack Bauer steps from the rear of the plane having just returned from a two year stint in a Chinese gulag.

He looks like crap, matted hair, scraggly beard, baggy Mao type Chinese clothes – no sense of fashion, these Chinese.

With him is CTU Special Agent in Charge Bill Buchanan and Director of Field Ops, Curtis Manning.

Neither of these men ever smiles.

Not ever.

Its part of their CTU training and they’re pretty darned serious about it. They also, like all CTU personnel, never go to the bathroom, reload their weapons, forget anything, eat, sleep, bathe or go home. They’re all a bunch of freakin’ robots. So are the freakin’ terrorists.

Bill and Curtis inform Jack of the reason President Palmer (not David, he’s dead – but his hot head brother, Wayne – not a very presidential name if you ask me) has finally got off his ass and bought Jack’s freedom from Hop Sing and his gang.

“Great News Jack – President Wayne finally ponied up and plucked your sorry butt out of the cesspool you’ve been wallowing in for the past two years so he can hand you over to another psychopathic Middle Eastern terrorist killer fanatic who thinks he’s going to have 72 virgins waiting on him if he but only blows himself to smithereens and in the process kills as many innocent people as he possibly can.”

“Welcome home.”

“I know what’s expected of me Bill but before you hand me over to some shit for brains maniac, I’d like to shave, get a hair cut, brush what few teeth I have left, take a box of Q-Tips to my ears, blow my nose, take a freakin’ shower, eat something besides cold rice, take a nap, watch some TV, have a beer and if possible, get laid.”

“No problem, Jack. We’ve got an area set up for you right over here.”

“Thanks Curtis … and Curtis, if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer a woman.”

“Sure thing Jack.”

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