Decurro Ergo Sum

Fifty Smifty .... You're Hot!

2010-04-05T21:42:00.000-05:00

April 5, 1960

Do not count your candles
do not add the years.
Do not spend a single moment
dwelling on your fears.

Do not look unhappy
while gazing in the glass.
Do not begrudge the years
for they will surely pass.

Do not allow the false idea
that youth is all the rage.
Do not forget you’re beautiful
at each and every age.

For when I look into your eyes
this is what I see.
A gift unlike any other
God has given me.

Happy Birthday!

Take A Moment

2010-03-07T09:26:00.003-05:00

One of the guys who worked with me passed away suddenly. His name was Kyle Ames. He didn't show up for work on Friday and was found by his sister in his bed. He apparently died in his sleep some time between Thursday night and Friday morning.

Kyle was 37 years old and was born with a heart condition. He was due to go to the Mayo Clinic on March 15th for surgery. His passing comes as a shock to all of us who knew him. He was a great employee and a friend.

He was also a father to a 10 year old daughter named Willow who he was absolutely crazy about. As I gathered his personal effects from his office yesterday, I found numerous cards and notes from her along with various awards she had received in school. I also found the piece which follows.

It made me stop and think of how fragile and temporal our existence is in this world. And how easy it is to get caught up and forget the really important things and people in our lives. Priorities can become so misaligned.

To My Child

Today …

I will step over the laundry, pick you up and take you to the park to play.

I will leave the dishes in the sink and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

I will unplug the telephone, turn off the computer and sit with you in the back yard and blow bubbles.

I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck. I will buy you some when it comes by.

I won’t worry about what you are going to be when you grow up but instead I will live in the moment as you do.

I will let you help me bake cookies and I won’t stand over you while you’re fixing them.

I will take you to McDonalds and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

I will let you splash in the tub and not worry about the water on the floor.

I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

I will snuggle beside you for hours and miss my favorite TV shows.

I will run my fingers through your hair as you say your prayers and humbly thank God for the greatest gift I could ever receive.

I will think of the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, those who are visiting their children’s graves instead of their bedrooms and those who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, all the while trying to hang on as they ask the unanswerable question … why.

Tonight when I tuck you in, I will hold you a little longer, squeeze you a little tighter and be grateful for every moment we have together.

And tomorrow, I’ll do it all again.

Seven

2010-02-13T09:18:00.000-05:00

February 13, 2010

Time goes quickly
the years pass by.
You’ve grown to be a little girl
in the blink of an eye.

And today you turn seven
oh my, what a fuss.
Always bringing smiles
to the two of us.

So blow out the candles
cause we just want to say.
We love you Leilani
Happy Birthday!

Love always,
Popeye & Meme

Semper Paratus

2010-02-01T07:11:00.001-05:00

A Hero Says Goodbye

2010-01-15T00:37:00.006-05:00

My brother-in-law Billy was a wonderful husband to my sister Karen, a great father to my nephews Jeremy and Zak, a mentor to countless firefighters and a friend to many. He was the reason I became, and remain involved with Team In Training and on December 23, 2009, he finished his fight with cancer.

Aside from God and his family - especially his grandson Hunter – the most important thing in his life were his brothers and sisters in the fire department. The following poem, read at the beginning of each Roanoke City Recruit School, is the unofficial creed of the Roanoke Fire-EMS Department. Billy wrote it during a live fire training exercise in Roanoke several years ago.

If you want to be a clown,
you’d better be lookin’ for a circus.
If you’re lookin’ for a free ride,
here’s a dollar; call a cab.
If you want to be a “Showman”,
Vegas will welcome you with open arms.
If fulfillment of an ego is high on your
priority list, might I suggest Hollywood.
And if you want to be a millionaire,
by all means, this ain’t for you.
But, if you don’t mind hard work, sweating in
freezing weather, getting back less than half of
what you give, and finding your name at the
bottom of your own priority list,
then stick around!
I believe you could be a FIREFIGHTER

Battalion Chief William “Billy” Obenchain

Twenty Two

2010-01-12T07:34:00.004-05:00

January 12, 1988

Oh, where have they gone
all those precious years.
The times I recall
with laughter and tears.

A moment, an instant
a mere bat of an eye.
From a child to young woman
I accept with a sigh.

The inevitable truth
as our story unfolds.
My cherished memory
of you seven years old.

Eternally grateful
for all of the days.
I’ve been blessed with your love
in so many ways.

And so on this day
another year past.
A new celebration
replacing the last.

Remember I love you
and better my life.
For you were the bonus
when I married my wife.

Happy Birthday BA

Just Signed Up For This

2010-01-03T21:59:00.002-05:00

Winter Comes To SW Virginia

2009-12-19T09:34:00.003-05:00

That's a 6 foot fence running along the yard

Reilly's confused - had to go shovel out a pee cul-de-sac
The back deck is under here somewhere

The weather gods say 18" or more before she's done - they may just be right

Snowmobile - I think not

Boo

2009-12-18T12:47:00.004-05:00

I realize this is a bit late but hope it's enjoyable nonetheless

Suntrust Marathon - Richmond Va

2009-11-22T07:45:00.005-05:00

November 14, 2009

My nephew Jay and I

At the start

Refueling at mile 16

At the finish

Bad food

Running For A Reason

2009-11-03T22:51:00.003-05:00

In 2007, I ran my first marathon and it was a huge deal for me.

At that time, I signed on with Team In Training and spent six months preparing. And when my training program took me past my previous mileage threshold of 13.1 miles, every long run thereafter became a voyage into unchartered waters. It was exhilarating and I would eagerly arise hours before day break, don my running gear, bound down the stairs and head out into the darkness. My recovery times were quick and my energy level was full speed ahead. I was living the runner’s high.

Fast forward two years.

My current (accelerated) marathon training program thrust me to the 16 mile mark in six short weeks. It has forced me to run up Mill Mountain repeatedly and to go to the track for 800 meter interval workouts.

The long runs jumped from 16 to 18 to 20 miles in the bat of an eye and the so called easy runs are now 7 to 8 miles in distance. I no longer eagerly get up full of anticipation. Instead, this time I find myself dragging my tired bones from the comfort of the warm sheets, struggling to lace up my shoes and descending the steps carefully, one at a time. Then I reluctantly force myself out of the door into the pitch black abyss of the start of another day for my morning run.

At this point in the training, I am now two weeks away from the start of the Richmond Suntrust Marathon and I have yet to recover one iota. On the contrary, fatigue has taken up full time residency within the confines of my being and instead of experiencing the runner’s high, I feel I am plagued with a runner’s hangover.

I’m freakin’ exhausted.

So why, you may ask, am I doing this?

It’s a fair question and one I’ve asked myself a lot lately (particularly last Sunday while struggling to complete a 22 mile run). What is it that makes an otherwise reasonably sane person decide to do this?

One might argue it’s a false belief in the fantasy that doing so will somehow slow down life’s continually ticking clock along with the never ending aging process. That by pushing oneself to the point of collapse, will in some way earn one a token which might be redeemed for a tiny slice of one’s youth.

But believe me, after 22 miles I’m way over that reason.

Instead when asked the question, why do you run so many miles, I think the best answer I can possibly give anyone is to share the following quote from a friend in Michigan. For her words truly embody the reason I and thousands of others endure this insanity.

Tim, as someone who has lived with multiple myeloma for 15 years, I owe my life to you & others who are giving in any way they can to help find treatments. 15 years ago, they said I had 3 years . . . today, I walked 7 miles.

Keep runnin'!

Team In Training - the reason speaks for itself.

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T05:53:00.000-05:00

A Beautiful Day

2009-09-26T18:01:00.002-05:00

Click here for more of Michael Sink's work

These photos by Danielle Obenchain

Ben & Garrett's Wedding Day

2009-09-22T01:19:00.004-05:00

My daughter-in-law, Mrs. Garrett Brooks Lawhorn with my grand daughter Leilani

My son Benjamin Aaron Lawhorn with my grand daughter Leilani

A few photos from The Kyle House

Me and my lovely bride of 9 1/2 years

What a knockout!

Today Is The Day

2009-09-19T08:23:00.001-05:00

My son Ben and is bride to be Garrett, will become husband and wife today!

November 14

2009-09-11T04:50:00.001-05:00

63 days and counting

Still Stupid After All These Years

2009-09-07T18:47:00.000-05:00

Saturday saw the Dawgs fall to Oklahoma State; East Carolina squeak by Appalachian State and the Crimson Tide roll over the Hokies like a rogue wave pounds the unsuspecting vessel. It also marked yet another occasion for me to face the fact I have failed to learn many of life’s lessons and am therefore apparently, doomed to repeat them.

Perhaps it was the week of Mondays just completed or maybe it was merely fatigue which caused me to miss the neon like warning signs as we arrived at Jeff’s for the in-house tail gate party in anticipation of the Hokie / Tide season opener. Whatever the reason, miss them (or perhaps more accurately, ignore them) I did.

At first all was going smoothly as greetings and introductions were made. The house was filling with people, many of whom were friends from work and so with a glass of wine in hand I remained in the kitchen engaged in conversation while Beth set off with Lisa to take a look at their house and as she is prone to do, rearrange some of the furniture.

After a few moments, the aroma of Jeff’s signature ribs and wings wafting from the dining room drew me in like a burka draws the Taliban and as I filled my plate, I caught a glimpse of him over in the corner of the room, sizing up the crowd and taking it all in.

I momentarily froze; my head swimming with memories of previous encounters. You see, there is history between us; some seemingly good but in fact, all very bad. For you see, he is the type who pretends to be your friend, your comrade in arms, but in reality, he’s a self-serving, narcissistic bastard who will cut you to the quick and leave you to wallow in the depths of your own despair. Consequently, aside from a cursory nod of the head, I paid him no mind.

Ah but what I failed to remember is that he is patient; willing to bide his time and await his opportunity to strike. His modus operandi is well known to me – or should be – for over the years, we have together, played this game many times and the results are always the same.

Carefully avoiding any further eye contact, my plate and I left the room and for awhile, I felt safe; perhaps too safe, for I began to relax. I began to feel confident in my ability to avoid whatever trap may lie in wait. I began to feel secure. Consequently I let the wine flow as the Hokies faltered. And when the wine was no more, Arthur Guinness’ black elixir filled and then refilled my glass.

And all the while, I was being watched, evaluated and ultimately played.

Then with the hour growing late and the clock winding down, he made his move. Suddenly I found myself back in the dining room, cornered with no way out. And then without warning, he pounced leaving me reeling like an amateur in the ring with Ali; outclassed, out gunned and out cold.

Through the haze that was my vision I looked upward and slurred, “Damn you to hell. Never again, never again.”

With his trademark golden glint, he smiled and replied, “Nos vamos, mi amigo. Nos vamos.”

His name: José Cuervo

Consequently Sunday morning’s run was one of the longest; most brutally gut wrenching 6 miles I’ve ever run.

Semper Paratus

2009-08-04T04:17:00.002-05:00

August 4, 2009

219 years of Service

Team In Training

2009-08-01T11:53:00.003-05:00

In 2007, I ran my first marathon. At that time I had two goals: the first was to run the Marine Corp marathon in honor of my son, a former Marine. The second was to do so with Team In Training in honor of my brother-in-law who has battled lymphoma for over 8 years.

When I began, I felt I knew what TNT was all about: complete a marathon and raise some money for a good cause. But as my involvement deepened, so did my understanding and appreciation of not only the organization’s purpose, but also what it meant to be a part of such a noble mission.

At the pasta party on the night before the race, I was truly humbled by the appreciation shown to those of us who had trained and raised money. I was emotional as I listened to the guest speaker tell her story of survival and I was extremely proud to be a part of something so incredibly special.

It was and remains one of the more meaningful and rewarding experiences of my life so when I decided to do another marathon, I knew I wanted to once again be a part of TNT. I considered the New York Marathon but quite frankly in the current economic climate, I was too intimidated by the fund raising minimum. So I decided on Richmond and even though it wasn’t a TNT event I contacted Elliot Smith, the Campaign Coordinator for the Virginia chapter and asked if I could still raise money. He set up a donation site for me and I started training.

People often ask me, “How can you run that many miles”.

I think the best answer I could possibly give anyone is to share the following quote from a friend in Michigan who made a donation to my fund raising campaign. For her words truly embody the reason I and thousands of others, do what we do.

"Tim, as someone who has lived with multiple myeloma for 15 years, I owe my life to you & others who are giving in any way they can to help find treatments. 15 years ago, they said I had 3 years . . . today, I walked 7 miles. Keep runnin'!"

If you would like to make a donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, please click here and thank you for your support.

Twenty Seven

2009-07-17T17:43:00.002-05:00

July 18, 1982

another year older
another stop along the way.
another time to remember
a very special day.

another cake to savor
another song to sing.
another time to tell you
how much joy you bring.

another celebration
another candle to add.
another proud moment
for your dear old dad.

I love you

happy birthday

Only A Number

2009-04-05T07:45:00.003-05:00

For wine & cheese ... age counts.

For you ... it doesn't matter.

When we were younger
milestones to reach.
Very special birthdays
with lessons to teach.

Thirteen and sixteen
both deserve stars.
For emotional drama
and piloting cars.

And eighteen and twenty one
follow in a blink.
Allowing us to vote

and legally drink.

But then something happens
the word becomes dirty.
As each passing birthday
brings us closer to thirty.

The excitement then fades
as the years they fly by.
With the Big Four – O
on the horizon looming nigh.

But it passes too
and soon fifty awaits.
Making us leery
of our annual dates.

But do not despair
for I love you my dear.
On this day of celebration
of your forty ninth year.

And always remember
it’s YOU the day is for.

For age is but a number
and absolutely nothing more.

Happy Birthday Beth!

Her First Half Marathon

2009-03-29T14:44:00.003-05:00

ING Georgia Half Marathon

Atlanta, GA

Finishing Time: 01:41:34

Pace: 7:44

Congratulations Beth Anne!

A Recession Slowdown With A Little Motown

2009-03-28T20:32:00.002-05:00

He's Back!

2009-03-26T11:33:00.000-05:00

Welcome home Morgan!

Twenty Eight

2009-03-22T07:41:00.001-05:00

March 22, 1981

Awakening today
my thoughts in the past.
Reliving the years
all passing too fast.

Asking the questions
the answers I know.
What happened to time,
where did it go?

From a blue eyed baby
to a man full grown.
Childhood and adolescence
are but moments on loan.

So now looking back
to these memories on file.
This Father is blessed
with a tear and a smile.

Happy Birthday Ben

My Wife, My Partner, My Best Friend

2009-02-14T08:58:00.004-05:00

The writing is on the wall ... and it's written in indelible ink.

Six

2009-02-13T05:30:00.002-05:00

February 13, 2003

There’s something very special about a grandchild they say
it lies deep within awaiting the day.
Till your child’s very child a life so brand new
gazes into your eyes and coos, I choose you.

Then you watch as she grows and begins to explore
soon crawling, then running all across the floor.
Becoming more daring with each passing day
watching and learning with so much to say.

The time passes quickly in a flash and a whirl
and soon the tiny baby is a darling little girl.
Whose smile is a flower always in bloom
like a light in the dark filling up every room.

Her bear hugs and kisses right the world’s wrongs
replacing your troubles with nursery rhyme songs.
And a voice so sweet when calling your name
“I love you Popeye, let’s play a game!”

So Happy Birthday my angel, I’ll never forget
that moment in time when we first met.
For six years ago from Heaven above
with but one single look, I fell in love.

I love you Lei Lei.

Dinner Is Served

2009-02-11T18:06:00.003-05:00

Another Sample of Stephen's Work

2009-01-28T07:12:00.007-05:00

W O W

To see more of Stephen's amazing work, click here.

Twenty-One

2009-01-12T22:35:00.001-05:00

January 12, 1988

At seven years young
you opened the door.
Your too long gown
gently dragging the floor.

Looking up at me
so quiet and unsure.
With questioning eyes
and innocence pure.

"Who might you be"
your unspoken word.
"Are you a good person"
I silently heard.

A humble beginning
yet this moment I knew.
A special connection
born for me and for you.

From Raggles to Reindeer
and Catholic school.
Or emergency rooms
til well after two.

And those teenage years
all fraught with drama.
Of a rusted out truck
oh my God, what a trauma.

Then off to Georgia
a new chapter began.
The Red and the Black
and a Bulldog fan.

Now another milestone
you've grown and come far.
At last you can legally
drink in the bar.

And as the years passed
I've watched as you grew.
Gracefully dealing
with all that you do.

Hoping you remember
when life seems unfair.
Nothing can break
the bond which we share.

Happy Birthday Beth Anne!

I Came, I Saw, I Ate

2009-01-11T13:10:00.005-05:00

By now the garlands and lights have likely been taken down, the stockings and Christmas CD's have been put away and the trees, stripped of their yuletide trimmings, have all been cast to the curb and are happily decomposing in the local landfill.

Likewise, the champagne bottles, noise makers and party hats used to ring in the new year have also been discarded as we now collectively settle back into the normalcy of our pre and post holiday season lives.

However, given the events of the last quarter of 2008, normalcy may have changed a bit.

From the sub-prime meltdown to the auto industry bailout; from the near disappearance of the 401k to the biggest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history, 2008 leaves many of us a little shell shocked and somewhat unsure of what the new year may hold.

But nevertheless, for me some things about the beginning of a new year remain constant.

For instance, the holidays are the times I tend to take on the persona of a procrastinating bear who is way behind in it's preparation for hibernation and consequently consumes virtually everything edible in sight.

Deviled eggs by the dozens along with entire hams and turkeys have been known to completely vanish when I'm left to my own devices in the kitchen.

Mashed potatoes, gravy and casseroles disappear faster than a politician's promises while desserts literally leap from their containers onto my plate.

As a result, one of my ongoing resolutions for the new year is to realize I'm not going to hibernate and therefore I need not act as if I am a human Electrolux.

Beth would tell you it's impossible for me to do so and admittedly, I've always had a healthy appetite. But during the rest of the year, I normally run enough to offset the increased consumption.

So for me the new year means its time to get back into the fitness groove; time to forgo the utilization of my unending list of excuses of why I can't run today; time to set some running and race goals for the coming year and time to begin training.

And it also means its time for me to make peace with my bathroom scale, put away my super-size pants and start dressing from my regular closet once again.

Because in reality:

I eat therefore I am.

Happy 2009!

It's A Bird. It's A Plane. I'ts A Maniac!

2009-01-10T07:27:00.001-05:00

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Baby it's Cold Outside

2008-12-06T05:24:00.004-05:00

On November 22nd I ran my first race (and longest distance) since having had disc surgery this past March.

The event was the Star City Half Marathon held here in Roanoke VA. And as it was the 23rd year this race has been run, Mother Nature decided to commemorate the occasion with a start time temperature of 23 degrees. How thoughtful.

Arriving early, I joined a multitude of runners holed up in a pre-race huddle inside the Rocwood Indoor Climbing Center and as I passed the time prior to the mass migration to the start line, I scanned the wicking clad crowd for my two running partners.

Joining me in this noble quest for frostbite was my brother-in-law Bryan and my nephew Jay; both of whom travelled about 3 hours to share in this delightful experience. Just goes to show what grown men will do in order to hang on to any remaining (perceived or otherwise) shred of their youth.

While Jay and I are veterans of several half marathons – including this one, this would be Bryan’s first. Having taken up running relatively recently, he ran his first race this past April – the UKrops 10k in Richmond VA and at my urging, stepped up to the plate and committed to this event while it was still quite warm here in the Old Dominion. (Just to clarify, this in no way should be considered an act of deception on my part as Bryan is well aware that late November is historically cooler than mid July.)

At any rate, before too long the three of us found one another and began to plot our race strategy. It went something like this:

“Damn it’s cold outside!”

“Yea, I can’t feel my toes.”

“What the heck were we thinking?”

Feeling this was an adequate amount of planning, we spent the next several minutes re-tying our shoes and regaling one another with tales of our past race experiences - Bryan had to keep repeating the same story - until the ensuing tsunami of running tights pulled us through the front door vortex with the 300+ other soon to be no longer warm bodies and deposited us squarely in the midst of old man winter.

After a brief (and way to brisk) stop at a port-a-john, we headed over the foot bridge and assembled at the designated location to await the firing of the official race gun, all the while bouncing up and down like a Discovery Channel Tutsi tribe in a failed attempt to keep from becoming human popsicles.

Following a spirited rendition of the national anthem, the gun finally fired causing everyone to cease bouncing and start running. And run we did, for just up ahead we exited the shade and emerged into the sunlight where it was easily 3 degrees warmer.

It should be noted at this point that both my brother-in-law and my nephew are several years younger than me and while there are many runners my age who are as fast as those several years younger, I am not one of them. In fact, I’m not faster than those younger, the same age or older. Even walkers sometimes finish ahead of me but I don’t care. I still get the t-shirt.

And so proceeding at our own pace, we soon split from one another in pursuit of our individual goals. Bryan’s was to complete his first half marathon. Jay’s was to shave a minute or two off his time and mine was to not puke.

I’m happy to report, we all succeeded.

(L-R: Bryan, me and Jay)

Tagged

2008-11-25T17:37:00.016-05:00

Mr. Mouse told me my blogging friend Anne in San Diego tagged me with the task of listing 6 things which make me happy.

Now normally I'm a pretty happy person but there have been times in my life (as with most people I suspect) when this hasn't been the case. Perhaps because of this, I've come to realize just how grateful I am to be happy. So here goes; 6 things (in no particular order) which make me happy.

1. Leilani - People always say there's something different about a grand child. They're right. To listen to her laugh, to get lost in her hugs, to hear her call me Popeye is an experience I'm unable to put into words.

2. RFWDG - Together we Lazy White People share an appreciation for fine food, wonderful wines and memories made. But most of all we share in the value and importance of our friendship.

3. Buccaneer Villa - Aptly dubbed by the London Star as "The coolest place to stay on the planet," this paradise on earth is the most relaxing place I've ever been. Iree Mon, Iree.

4. Thunderstorms - Ever since I was a child, I've loved thunderstorms. There is something about the raw power exhibited when God decides to kick it up a notch that is both awe inspiring and humbling.

5. My Siblings - Or more accurately, our relationship with one another, is an important source of happiness for me. There are four of us, 2 brothers and 2 sisters, and even though there are 25 years between me (the youngest) and my brother (the oldest), we all love one another, we all like one another and we all get along. This made our Mother very proud.

6. Beth - Happiness only touches on the emotion I feel because of her. When we married, we promised to walk the path of life together, not one in front of nor one behind the other. We promised to be each other's best friend; to be always kind; to not lose sight of what we found when we found one another. And even though there have been times when I stumbled blindly in darkness, she never faltered. She has always and will always be the reason "I see trees of green, red roses too. I see them bloom for me and you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world."

I'm supposed to tag 6 others but aside from Anne, there are only 3 other bloggers I know, so here they are:

Amy in GA

Cheryl in AZ

and Zoe in VA

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Return Of Mr. Mouse

2008-11-11T07:29:00.004-05:00

Thirty plus years ago, a small group of friends came to know an individual who's antics often placed us in difficult situations.

Last week, he showed up on my doorstep. I'm not sure how long he will stay nor what he will do but one thing is clear; he's not changed a bit.

Consequently, I suspect his visit will be at the very least, interesting and so I invite you to check in periodically for updates.

A Star Is Born

2008-11-02T08:08:00.002-05:00

Reilly raised $655.00 for the SPCA in the Howl O'Ween Walk and made it onto the Red Carpet in the process!

How Much Is Enough

2008-10-11T05:30:00.000-05:00

I believe in the capitalist system but this is disgusting:

A 2007 study of 137 large companies by data-tracker Equilar Inc found that 72% of the CEOs had severance agreements and 82% were promised exit packages if they lost their jobs following a corporate takeover or "change in control."

Stanley O'Neal, Merril Lynch:
Golden Parachute: $160 million, including more than $129 million in stock and options.
Claim to Shame: O'Neal takes the fall for failing to adequately control the firm's credit and market risks, which resulted in a stunning $8 billion-plus write down in the third quarter.

Philip Purcell, Morgan Stanley:
Golden Parachute: $43.9 million plus $250,000 a year for life after being forced out.
Claim to Shame: He angered a group of shareholders who had already called for a break up of the firm by reorganizing management and promoting some executives who were seen as loyal to him.

Richard Grasso, New York Stock Exchange:
Golden Parachute: Took $140 million in deferred compensation.
Claim to Shame: The disclosure of which sparked a furor that led to his departure. The pay also provoked an investigation and lawsuits, which are still being worked out.

Douglas Ivester, Coca-Cola:
Golden Parachute: Took $120 million when he stepped down in 2000 in his mid-50s.
Claim to Shame: The departure was deemed a "retirement," but Ivester had presided over a period of stagnant growth, declining earnings and bad publicity.

Robert Nardelli, Home Depot:
Golden Parachute: $210 million.
Claim to Shame: He fixed up the home products retailer using techniques he learned as an executive at General Electric, but by 2006, he was starting to seriously irritate shareholders. The final straw was when he told the board to skip the annual shareholder meeting and prevented shareholders from speaking for more than a few minutes. He was ousted in January 2007.

Bruce Karatz, KB Homes:
Golden Parachute: Gets up to $175 million.
Claim to Shame: The former chief executive of the home building company resigned in November 2006 after an internal investigation into whether he and other executives backdated stock option grants.

Stephen Hilbert, Conseco:
Golden Parachute: Took an estimated $72 million.
Claim to Shame: Hilbert bought GreenTree Financial in 1998, just as the subprime lending business was about to go topsy turvy. The purchase left Conseco, an insurance company, with big write downs and ultimately contributed to its 2001 bankruptcy. The company has since reemerged from reorganization.

Michael Ovitz, Disney:
Golden Parachute: $140 million after less than two years on the job.
Claim to Shame: A former big-time Hollywood agent, Ovitz was recruited to Disney to work under Chairman Michael Eisner, but the two couldn't play nice. The pay was disputed in a Delaware court, which decided in 2005 that the board didn't violate its fiduciary duty in awarding that much severance.

Hank McKinnell, Pfizer:
Golden Parachute: $198 million, including $78 million in deferred compensation he built up in 35 years at the pharmaceutical company.
Claim to Shame: Pfizer shares sank 40% on his watch, which ended last year. The company had to cut billions in costs and fire thousands of employees and said it wouldn't see revenue growth until 2009.

Frank Newman, Bankers Trust:
Golden Parachute: $55 million.
Claim to Shame: A former deputy Treasury secretary, Newman was brought to Bankers Trust to restore confidence after the 1994 derivatives scandal. He made aggressive moves into technology banking and lending (buying boutique Alex. Brown & Sons in 1997). But that push, plus a big position in Russian government bonds put the bank on the brink. Newman left in 1999 after selling the company to Deutsche Bank.

Carly Fiorina, Hewlett Packard:
Golden Parachute: $45 million including a $21.4 million severance package.
Claim to Shame: Fiorina was dismissed as the CEO of Hewlett Packard in 2005 after a merger with Compaq floundered, stock prices plunged 50 percent and 20,000 people were laid off.

Alan H. Fishman, Washington Mutual:
Golden Parachute: $18 million in bonuses
Claim to Shame: Was only employed for three weeks at the failed savings and loan.

Bob Nardelli, Home Depot:
Golden Parachute: $210 million
Claim to Shame: Pocketed a lavish severance package and left shareholders with a stock that languished even as sales have nearly doubled during his six-year tenure.

Richard S Fuld Jr, Lehman Brothers:
Golden Parachute: Unknown however he was paid approximately $350 million from 2000 to 2007.
Claim to Shame: Ignored a warning that the bank's 'liquidity can disappear quite fast' and dismissed suggestions that staff may not get their bonuses. Also, according to the Associated Press, internal company documents detailed a request to the compensation committee that three departing executives be given $20 million in "special payments." The request was made on September 11 - four days before the company went bankrupt.

One positive note:

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac's outgoing CEOs Daniel Mudd and Richard Syron aren't going to receive the millions of dollars in severance that had previously been expected. The Federal Housing Finance Agency said it will block the severance payments which together had been estimated at up to $23 million.

Lions & Tigers & Bears - Oh My

2008-09-14T17:48:00.002-05:00

The following AP article recently caught my eye:

An ambulance official says a jogger has been taken to hospital after he was attacked by a kangaroo on the outskirts of Australia's second-largest city.

Metropolitan Ambulance Service spokeswoman Christine Paterson says the man, in his 50s, was attacked Monday as he apparently ran between a male and female kangaroo near his home at an outer suburb of Melbourne. She says the victim ran to a nearby house and telephoned for help while the kangaroo hopped away.

Paterson says he was taken by ambulance to a hospital in a stable condition with a gash on his head and minor claw scratches to his chest, arms and hands.

A Royal Melbourne Hospital spokeswoman was not immediately available for comment on the man's condition.

Ok lesson learned: Clearly one should never come between a Roo and his lady.

Encounters between runners and animals are not uncommon however for most of us; it’s limited to the occasional dog who decides to pace us. But as evidenced by the above article, more exotic meetings do sometimes take place. So in the interest of education and safety, I’d like to share a few tips I discovered while researching material for this piece. (I swear I didn’t make any of this stuff up.)

Bears

If you see a bear in the distance, respect the bear's need for space.

Remember a crowded bear is an unhappy bear.

It’s a good idea not to wear hair products if you anticipate a bear encounter.

Bears apparently detest mousse, gel and Brylcream.

Identify yourself as human by talking in low tones, with arms outstretched.

In your best Barry White voice say, “Hi Gentle Ben, it’s me Bobby. Give me a hug!”

If a bear actually attacks you should fight back aggressively as this will encourage the bear to "give up" and leave.

However it is deadly to do this with a grizzly so be sure and ask the bear for ID prior to employing this tactic.

Rattlesnakes

If you run into a rattlesnake on your path - stop! Enjoy the encounter - Do not attempt to "shoo" the snake away.

Rattlesnakes are known to be sensitive and may take such action personally.

Some common symptoms of a rattlesnake bite are: Fang marks, Pain, Nausea and Dizziness.

Did we mention death?

Lions

Do not approach a lion.

They aren’t interested in anything you have to say.

If confronted, stay calm and face the lion.

Try humming a few bars from The Lion King to build trust.

Do not run.

Like rattlesnakes, lions are also known to be overly sensitive.

Try to appear larger by raising your hands.

This may also serve to confuse the lion as he may think you wish to ask a question or need to use the restroom.

Avoid bending over.

I don’t even want to speculate as to the reason for this tip.

Remember, the animal kingdom was here first so it’s understandable they might feel a tad resentful at man’s usurping their environment. So when running the roads and the trails, be respectful, be careful and be prepared.

At least most of us don’t have to worry about kangaroos!

G’Day!

Too Good

2008-09-14T17:19:00.000-05:00

Godspeed Morgan

2008-09-12T06:26:00.002-05:00

My sister-in-law Chris received an email this morning from her husband Morgan.

He and his unit have arrived in Iraq.

Please keep him and all of our service personnel in your thoughts and prayers.

Kindergarden - Day 1

2008-09-04T14:18:00.003-05:00

On Tuesday she began kindergarden.

She was a bit nervous.

I was a bit emotional.

Where has the time gone?

Amazing

2008-08-21T05:48:00.003-05:00

I remember this well - it occurred about a month before I shipped off to boot camp.

Two years later I was stationed in Manhattan and visited the World Trade Center. I could not then nor can I now comprehend how anyone could accomplish such a feat (much less desire to do so).

To say I don't do well with heights is an understatement but while there I went to the roof anyway. Doing so did nothing to alleviate my phobia but looking back, I'm glad I went.

Love

2008-08-08T15:42:00.002-05:00

Semper Paratus

2008-08-04T16:22:00.002-05:00

August 4, 2008

218 Years of Service

The Long Road Back

2008-08-03T10:37:00.005-05:00

When I was released by my Doctor in mid April, I firmly believed I would be able to work my way back to distance running in a very short time.

I've come to realize I was overly optimistic.

So far my only double digit run has been a 10 miler which put me away for two days and reminded me that too much too soon is too bad.

So I've resigned myself to the fact that to rebuild, I must gradually increase my mileage, get enough rest, lay off those damnable Cheez-Its (low fat or not) and listen to my body while it whispers instead of when it screams.

On a positive note, my training log shows a steady increase since April so I'm still planning on the Star City Half Marathon come November.

Monthly Distances

August: 9.5 Mi 1:42:02
July: 59.8 Mi 10:32:34
June: 39.5 Mi 7:10:38
May: 26.3 Mi 5:01:27
April: 18.2 Mi 3:21:47
March: 0.0 Mi 0:00

Mahalo

2008-07-27T15:55:00.004-05:00

Where Did The Years Go

2008-07-18T07:59:00.004-05:00

July 18, 1982

Little blond curls, so soft and sweet
always waiting, at the door to greet.
With hugs and kisses, a playful grin
you stole my heart, again and again.

The years flew by, you grew too fast
before I knew it, time had passed.
No longer a child, longing to play
all but the memory, had gone away.

But no matter the time, pass as it may
I’ll always remember that special day.
When into my world, you chose to be
and in picking a Father, you picked me.

So celebrate my child, and never forget
I’m still your Dad, and I’m not done yet.
That little blond girl, with curls galore
resides in my heart forever more.

Happy Birthday Abbey!

I Came, I Saw, I-Pod

2008-07-13T15:25:00.003-05:00

Got one of these for my birthday.

Good thing it comes with iPod for Dummies built in.

Some of what is in my Running playlist:

Gimme Shelter - Grand Funk Railroad

Ain't Too Proud To Beg - The Temptations

Glory Days - Bruce Springsteen

Struttin' My Stuff - Elvin Bishop

In The Mood - Glenn Miller

I Wanna Be Around - John Cale

Smooth - Santana

Babylon - David Gray

Deep Forest - Deep Forest

What's in your iPod?

Independence Day

2008-07-04T10:05:00.002-05:00

Regardless of one's political viewpoint, please take time to honor those who sacrifice so much for all of us.

Ah, There's The Rub

2008-06-28T16:19:00.002-05:00

Should one care to research my wife’s genetic origins, I’m convinced they would find she and Martha Stewart waded in similar gene pools. For while in my world there are only two shades of any color – light and dark – hers is one where there are no fewer than 134 different shades of what I would simply call … green.

This unique ability isn’t only limited to colors as her Stewart-esque similarity virtually blossoms in the kitchen. While I can open the refrigerator and stare blankly for an hour only to find the lone piece of suspect turkey I conveniently left in the container the previous time I attempted to feed myself something other than Cheez-its, she will extract from the same Kitchenaid appliance the ingredients with which she will produce a gourmet meal rivaling that of anything ever featured on the cover of Bon Appetit.

In addition, other manifestations of this talent appear as well. For example, by simply rearranging a few items within a room – such as a photo, a chair or a No. 2 pencil – she can completely transform the look and feel of the space; so much so that on more than one occasion I’ve gotten so confused, I had to Google my address to insure I was indeed home.

So it came as no surprise to me a couple of night’s ago when Beth and I were sitting on the deck enjoying the night’s cooler air and a bottle of wine, that she produced, seemingly from thin air, a fabric swatch-book the size of a Buick and began showing me approximately 429 different patterns, a couple of which she intends to use for the purpose of recovering two chairs.

It should be noted that at different times, both of these chairs have somehow become the property of either Reilly, the 80lb Golden Retriever or Mocha, a similar sized Chocolate Lab who was blessed with claws meant for a grizzly bear. Both are horribly spoiled and between the two of them, shed the equivalent of 40 metric tons of fur each and every day.

So needless to say, I have no problem with her chair restoration plans.

However, I have no ability to offer constructive opinions relative to the 429 different patterns firmly ensconced within the binder of the Buick sized book. Therefore, all I was capable of doing was to stare blankly as she thumbed through the swatches, speaking a language I didn’t understand. Recognizing I was fast slipping into an interior design induced coma, I tried my best to maintain the appearance of one fully engaged by occasionally nodding and grunting at what I felt were appropriate times.

Suddenly I was jolted from my stupor when I heard Beth utter the following phrase, “… and this one is rated at 30,000 double rubs …”

30,000 double rubs … what the hell is that?

Well for those like me – clueless in the ways of all things cloth – a double rub is a testing method whereby a fabric’s surface is rubbed back and forth repeatedly until it wears out. Now in reality, this process is done by a machine but I immediately began to ponder what a position as a manual double rubber might entail.

For instance:

What qualifications might be required for such a position?
Would one be paid hourly or by the number of rubs rubbed?
Would there be different styles of rubbing developed and employed?
Would there be a Professional Double Rubbers Association?
Would universities offer graduate programs – an MDR perhaps?

And after retiring from a 30 year career as a double rubber, would there be a federally funded benefit program to compensate for having double rubbed one’s hand down to a nub?

I will never look at fabric in the same way again.

17 June

2008-06-17T23:03:00.005-05:00

Happy Anniversary Beth

Reflecting on The New Earth

2008-06-14T13:53:00.006-05:00

I've had some time to reflect after finishing Eckhart Tolle's The New Earth Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. And in so doing, several things are very obvious to me.

1. I want to listen to the book again,

2. I certainly recommend it - but not as a 'light, vacation' read, and

3. I am woefully unqualified to accurately explain it's impact on me.

As I indicated in my previous post, I saw myself in much of what he spoke. And while it wasn't initially pleasant, the 'awakening' to this observation was powerful.

Below is a reader's question from Tolle's website along with his response. There are others as well but this particular one resonates with me:

Question:

Is there any way in which your spiritual teachings may be applied to everyday life? Can your teachings make us any happier today? How?

Answer:

At the core of the teachings lies the simple practice of living in the present moment. It is true, of course, that everybody already lives in the present moment, but unfortunately they haven’t noticed, and they pretend that past and future are more important than now. In reality, your entire life unfolds in the space of now. Nothing exists outside of the now. So I am talking about making the present moment conscious. That is also the quickest way beyond ego. Thinking about past and future keeps feeding the ego. Past and future have no existence except as thought forms in your mind, and when you become conscious of the present moment, all the old structures of your mind cease to operate. The mind is then no longer your master, but your servant. A new state of consciousness arises: Presence. Instead of denying the now – which is ultimately the ego’s denial of life – you accept it, acknowledge it, make it your friend instead of your enemy. When you live in alignment with the now, you embody peace, but you also embody power, the power of life itself. It goes deeper than happiness.

A Game of Tag

2008-06-10T17:35:00.003-05:00

Here are the rules as explained to me.

Copy the rules (or your version of them) and the set of questions onto your blog post, provide your own answers and then tag 5 new people - or in my case, 4. If tagged, you’ll find your name at the end of this post.

To be sure everyone tagged knows they’ve been invited to play, go to their blogs and leave them a comment notifying and referring them to your blog for details.

Lastly, according to my tagger Anne, once the chosen have answered the questions on their own blog, they should come back to yours to tell you.

Here are my responses.

1. How would you describe your running 10 years ago?

An exercise in self-preservation in the context that I only ran if I was being chased by someone or something clearly intent on and capable of doing me great bodily harm.

I only began to run by choice approximately 7 years ago. The impetus for doing so was my rapidly approaching 45th birthday. It was then I decided it was past time for me to accept the reality that the habits of my youth needed to put be put aside and replaced with those more befitting someone my age; i.e. get my lazy butt off the couch and make physical exercise a regular part of my existence because:

a. taking my health for granted was not only stupid but dangerous, and
b. continuing to lay about and eat as though I had the metabolism of a teenager would likely land me the starring role in a remake of the 1950’s Hollywood classic, The Blob.

So … my running 7 years ago might be best described as life changing.

2. What is your best and worst run/race experience?

My best running experience was completing the Marine Corp Marathon this past October. Not only was it the achievement of a personal goal (one I never would have considered a few years ago) but it was also significant because I did so with The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training program.

For the past 20 years TNT, the world’s largest endurance sports training program, has provided coaching and support for people to cross the finish line at marathons, half marathons, triathlons and 100-mile cycling events. As a result, over 360,000 participants have raised more than $850 million for lifesaving cancer research and to help blood cancer patients live longer, better lives. Being a TNT alumnus is something I’ll always remember with pride and gratitude.

My worst running experience was the ice bath afterwards … brrr!

3. Why do you run?

Partially because of the way it makes me feel, both physically and mentally; partially because I enjoy the camaraderie of the running community; partially because none of my co-workers can – or more accurately, will and partially because one can never have too many race T-shirts.

4. What is the best or worst piece of advice you’ve been given about running?

Best: Invest in Body Glide.
Worst: Cliff Shot Bloks taste great!

5. Tell us something surprising about yourself that not many people would know.

I was born an uncle.

Tag you’re it:

Amy in Georgia

The Bill in Virginia

Cheryl in Arizona (We miss you!)

Zoe the Hellerhound

The Now

2008-05-27T06:30:00.002-05:00

I’m currently listening to a book on CD – not something I typically do. Ordinarily, I’m never in the car long enough for this to be a practical way for me to get lost in a story. And quite frankly, I find I prefer turning the pages of a good book to that of inserting the next CD.

Having said that however, recent changes in my job responsibilities has afforded me the benefit of a fair amount of windshield time and as a result, I am now experiencing a welcome change from the characteristically obsessive radio scanning I am so prone to.

This change in habitual behavior is proving to be quite interesting and ironically, particularly relevant to the book in question. For at the risk of oversimplification, this book is about forgoing one’s ego and awakening to the now.

The book is The New Earth - Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle.

Typically this would not be the genre I would normally pull off the shelf for myself and in fact, I began listening to this book not of my own desire but instead, because Beth asked me to. Having recently received it as a gift, she literally devoured it during a six hour trip to Georgia and its impact on her was obvious. So as I said, I began this book because she wanted me to.

The book is read by the author, thereby assuring any intended emphasis and inflection is not misapplied. As the first CD quietly began, I was immediately attracted by his accent – British enhanced German. By attracted, I mean interested; in both the tone quality as well as the applied sentence structure. In this context, I was reminded of one of our former priests, Father Andre Antao – a theological intellectual whose homily’s never failed to provoke sincere contemplation.

My interest now enhanced, I listened on until several minutes into the first CD, Tolle observed that not all were ready for the message of awakening. Those who were, would likely benefit from this book while those who were not, might consider it to be a waste of their time. I immediately wondered which of the two I might be and as his words continued, I found I was no longer listening because my wife wanted me to. Instead, I now wanted to.

I’m not yet finished with the book. I’m just beginning disk 4 of 6 and I do not know the impact it may or may not have on me. So far, I do find it interestingly telling in the sense I have “seen” myself in much of what he says – and what I’ve seen thus far isn’t always likeable. But then again, that which forces us to take an honest look in the mirror is likely to reveal those things which contradict the façade carried about in our day to day lives.

This I believe is an awakening.

Bahama Mama

2008-04-30T17:25:00.000-05:00

Want some sugar cane Popeye?

Look what I caught Popeye!

Let's go for a walk Popeye!

You Are Missed

2008-04-26T09:47:00.000-05:00

A valuable voice has been unfairly silenced.

Silenced by an unsolicited opinion.
Silenced by an ignorant hurtful comment.
Silenced by one who presumes to speak for all.
Silenced by one whom perhaps should themselves be silent.

A valuable voice has been unfairly silenced.

A voice which speaks honestly.
A voice which provokes thought.
A voice which entertains.
A voice which inspires.

A voice I miss and hope will soon return.

Lazy White People

2008-04-17T06:09:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I went for my first post-op run - a very S....L....O....W 3.30 miles.

The following song and video was a gift from the RFWDG guys to our lovely wives.

It commemorates a December 2004 trip to Treasure Beach Jamaica, the most peaceful place I've ever been.

Written, arranged, composed and performed by Calvin, Don, Ward and myself.

Enjoy.

A Prayer

2008-04-16T05:21:00.001-05:00

Flattering Photos?

2008-04-15T13:10:00.002-05:00

I had a photo shoot yesterday.

They were very expensive and frankly I think I got screwed.

Button It Up

2008-04-12T15:27:00.001-05:00

Next Wednesday morning, it’s back to the Doctor with new x-rays in tow. As it stands right now, I’m optimistic these photos will reveal the newly implanted metal in my upper spine to be securely in place and successfully promoting the desired fusion necessary to prevent me from becoming a white version of Gumby.

I’m equally optimistic he will free me from the wretched collar which has tormented me so these past six weeks and in so doing, bid me to go forth and once again don my Sauconys. In which case I will dutifully obey and gladly begin the arduous process of shedding the 15 plus pounds which have literally crept up on me during this unwelcome sedentary period.

It’s disappointingly interesting how quickly one gains weight when their activity level drops to nothing. It’s as if overnight I’ve gone from having to cinch my belt all the way to the last possible hole to having random buttons launch from my waist like deadly projectiles at 600 psi. Even my socks feel tight.

So as you might imagine, I’m more than ready to get back to an active lifestyle. But while I’m anxious to do so, I am also trying to remain mindful of the pitfalls of doing too much too soon. So as I begin to re-acclimate myself to physical activity, please take note of my mileage updates. And if you feel I’m too aggressive, feel free to verbally smack me.

In the meantime, be wary of rocket propelled buttons. They’ve been known to put an eye out.

Have A Special Day

2008-04-05T13:13:00.005-05:00

Before I met you, I must confess
life as I knew it was one big mess.

The revolution was stalled, my cigars were wet
my uniforms tattered, my pants were split.

And try as I may, at every attempt
my beard never failed, to look so unkempt.

But now that’s all changed, I’m sharp as a tack
save for the metal, embedded in my back.

I’m no longer lost, and out of control
allowing life’s bumps to exact their toll.

Instead with you, my life is complete
any problems we face, together we’ll beat.

So on this day, as we celebrate
another year past, a memorable date.

Know that I love you, Te amo
no matter what happens, I’ll never go.

And in any language, I’m happy to say
¡Feliz Cumpleaños!, Happy Birthday!

Fidel

Twenty Seven

2008-03-22T11:53:00.007-05:00

March 22, 1981

The second day of spring, not so long ago,
a new life marked, by a late season snow.
Into our home as if on cue,
quietly you came, to voices you knew.

A full head of hair and eyes bright blue,
you were our world, until there were two.
A family of four, through the childhood years,
sharing our lives, our joys and our tears.

From Big Wheels to bicycles, your first 22,
summers in camp, on horseback and canoe.
Learning God’s lessons by the great lake,
discovering its better, to give than to take.

Too quickly time passed as change took hold,
you spread your wings, and grew ever bold.
Thru times in your life, when shadows were cast,
forcing you to bend and grow up too fast.

In the blink of an eye, you became a young man,
serving our country in far away lands.
Then off to school, in pursuit of your goal,
easily moving, into your new role.

Now I look back at twenty-seven years,
the laughter, the sorrow, the hopes and the fears.
The times we were close and those far apart,
keeping you near, always in my heart.

I’m proud of you Ben, and all you have done,
I’m honored to call you, my only son.
I hope as time passes, the older you grow,
you’ll always remember, I love you so.

Update

2008-03-19T11:54:00.002-05:00

My first post-op Doctor visit went well, as (for now) my head remains firmly attached with no signs of premature separation and my incision appears to be well on its way to full assimilation into the existing lines of my neck.

I have also been given the green light to return to work albeit with the caveat that I should pay close attention to my body, i.e. Don’t over do it. Since I sit at a desk throughout the day, I don’t anticipate any problems.

A return follow-up visit is scheduled in 4 weeks and if all remains well connected, I will be able to forgo the collar completely at that time. And while there may be a need for physical therapy, there is also a good possibility I may very well be able to once again don my running shoes. Among so many other things, I am very grateful for this. (I am considering the ING Georgia marathon in April 2009 for my second – any feedback on this venue is greatly appreciated.)

Given my apparent progress, I can only surmise my self-prescribed Guinness treatments must be working.

Last night, Beth and I went to a yoga class – our first. Aside from being able to pick a sari clad, turbaned Yogi-like person out of a line up, I am completely ignorant of both the philosophy and techniques of yoga however, I’m interested in learning.

The class focused on learning to breathe properly and wasn’t overly physical but I did feel (literally) as if I participated more than I should as the already stretched ligaments and tendons in my shoulders grew increasingly loud in their protestations as the night went on. However with the help of a muscle relaxer, I slept well and feel pretty good today.

Pharmaceuticals can be so helpful, don’t you think?

It's Good For You

2008-03-15T07:18:00.003-05:00

For strictly medicinal purposes, I made a classic Black & Tan ...

And when It was complete ...

I took my medicine like a good boy.

Confessions Of A Junkie

2008-03-11T07:06:00.004-05:00

Many believe there is nothing wrong with taking an occasional jog.

"Just this once," they say. "I know my limits."

Well I was one of those people and like many others I started with the occasional 5k, all the while telling myself, "Hey, I'm not hurting anyone. Besides, I can quit whenever I want." Then before I knew it, I was running regardless of the weather.

Rain - no big deal, snow - so what, freezing temps - who cares.

You get the picture.

Then suddenly one day, the 5k fix wasn't enough. I needed more. So I ran a 10k. But soon, that too failed to quell the growing monkey which was now securely on my back and as its grip tightened, I did a 1/2 marathon.

My dresser drawers began to overflow with race t-shirts. I found myself hanging out with other users like myself. I was spending all my money at Fleet Feet. I would leave the house before dawn in order to hide my addiction from my family and friends. I was a full fledged junkie.

I finally hit bottom and knew I needed help when I ran my first marathon. Now I'm in rehab. And as you can tell from the photo, it’s extreme. It’s cold turkey for 3 months and then they tell me I’ll gradually wean myself away from the addiction.

I don’t know though. Right now, I still get the urge to get out there when I see some other poor soul pounding the pavement.

So be careful. This running is some powerful stuff. It will lure you in and then before you realize it’s happened, “I want to run” becomes “I have to run!”

Update From Tim

2008-03-05T11:16:00.007-05:00

After being awakened several times during the course of the night for the ritualistic taking of the vitals, I finally awoke for good around 7am when my surgeon, Dr. Harron dropped in to tell me I was free to go and to my utter satisfaction, I would not be required to wear the dreaded collar nearly as much as I did the previous time I blew a disc. It seems advances in technology allowed for the utilization of a metal implement which requires less stabilization than that of the cylinder which was embedded six years ago.

And so once the discharge process was complete, I climbed aboard for my obligatory wheelchair ride from the room to the car and headed home. On the way, Beth stopped by Java The Hut, a local coffee drive-thru shop owned by our friend Bob, so I could satisfy my need for a real cup of coffee. (I find hospital coffee - and food - to be surprisingly bad considering the environment is one where healing is paramount.)

And from there we went home where I was immediately set upon by the dogs who are genetically hard wired to lick obsessively in order to insure the lickee completely appreciates how badly they were missed. Judging from the puddles dripping from me, I'd say they were very happy for my return although I don't really know why as it is clear it is Beth, and not I who is the alpha dog in our pack.

At any rate, I'm home for 2-3 weeks best case, 4-6 worst and while here in my oxycodone state of euphoria, I hope to get a lot of writing done as I currently have one newsletter due NOW (I am the editor of our local running club's newsletter - The Star City Striders) and another due in April (RFWDG). Hopefully the narcotics will have a positive impact on my writing as well as the post-op discomfort.

Many thanks to all who posted, called and emailed well wishes, prayers and support. It means a great deal to me and I am sincerely grateful. Also to Dr. Harron and everyone else at Carilion's Roanoke Memorial Hospital who ensured my stay was both as comfortable and as short as possible, I thank you ... but I hope I don't have to see you again anytime soon.

Update From Beth

2008-03-04T13:16:00.007-05:00

To all our friends and family,

Thank you for all your thoughts, well wishes, and prayers! When I left Tim a short while ago, he was sleeping blissfully in a drug induced state.

Tim may be a bit more sore this go round, as some tendons had to be stretched in order to reach the disk affected, but we hope the recovery with go as smoothly as it did 6 years ago. He still has to wear a collar for 6 weeks, no driving for 6 weeks, and absolutely no running for 3 months!

After the usual plethora of phone calls and emails, letting the dogs out, feeding them and myself, I am once again off to the hospital. Will keep you posted!

Thanks again, Beth

Deja Vu

2008-03-01T08:32:00.007-05:00

This Tuesday (4 March), nearly six years to the day from my last blown disc surgery, I will be going under the knife to repair a herniated disc in between the C6 and C7 vertebrate.

At this rate, I will officially become the bionic man in another 18 years.

All running is on hold for the next 3 months as the aforementioned disks fuse together.

All good karma and well wishes are much appreciated.

This will be removed:

This will be inserted:

Like this:

And this is the stylish collar I will sport for six weeks:

The Tooth Fairy's First Visit

2008-02-24T22:24:00.000-05:00

The first tooth says goodbye!

Help Make St. Patrick's Day An Official Holiday

2008-02-16T09:55:00.006-05:00

Go here to cast your vote:

http://www.proposition317.com/stpats.html

Happy Valentines Day Beth

2008-02-14T17:54:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday

2008-02-13T00:36:00.000-05:00

Popeye took the picture.

Meme made the cake.

Lei Lei stole the show!

Post Doc Visit

2008-02-12T06:30:00.000-05:00

As expected, my visit to the doctor’s office resulted in x-rays, narcotics and an MRI appointment for tomorrow.

The x-rays show my previously acquired metal cylinder, securely embedded between vertebrae’s C5 and C6. There it continues to perform the function of the disc it replaced six years ago while secretly awaiting the most opportune time to set off all manner of alarms in a major metropolitan airport.

Meanwhile the one just below seems to be degenerating. I suspect this to be causing the numbness and pain radiating down and through my right arm.

For the most part, the prescribed drugs are unsuited for the work place as they tend to bring on bouts of narcolepsy and leave me incapable of maintaining lucid conversation. So while at work, I take mega doses of Naproxen – which for some reason I find difficult to pronounce - while employing shock therapy with the aid of a Tens unit.

A Tens unit or Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation is a pocket size, portable, battery-operated device that sends electrical impulses to certain parts of the body to block pain signals. The electrical currents produced are mild, but can prevent pain messages from being transmitted to the brain and may raise the level of endorphins (natural pain killers produced by the brain).

That is of course provided one doesn’t turn the device up too high. Doing so will instead cause pain messages to be fast forwarded to the brain in rapid succession while causing one’s body to contort in the fashion of a Cirque du Soleil acrobat.

On my days off however, I’ve been ingesting happy pills which leave me floating about in a semi-conscious state while Beth takes care of me; which she does well and which I certainly do not deserve.

She and I both know what possibly lies ahead and neither of us looks forward to it with any degree of enthusiasm. However if indeed another metal cylinder is destined to take up residence in my spine, I know the ensuing recovery will be significantly less of a pain in the neck (pun obviously intended) because the woman I love will be with me, making sure I’m back on my feet and logging my miles as soon as possible.

Beth has always been there for me even when I’ve not been there as I should for her.

For those times, I am filled with remorse.

For temporarily losing sight of what is most important, I am sincerely sorry.

For falling headlong into a darkening abyss, I am overwhelmed with regret.

And for the opportunity to set things right, I am eternally grateful.

Ouch

2008-02-04T13:51:00.000-05:00

Millions of people suffer from pain in their necks or arms. A common cause of cervical pain is a rupture or herniation of one or more of the cervical discs. This happens when the annulus of the disc tears and the soft nucleus squeezes out. As a result, pressure is placed on the nerve root or the spinal cord and causes pain in the neck, shoulders, arms and sometimes the hands. Cervical disc herniations can occur as a result of aging, wear and tear, or sudden stress like from an accident.

An anterior cervical discetomy is the most common surgical procedure to treat damaged cervical discs. Its goal is to relieve pressure on the nerve roots or on the spinal cord by removing the ruptured disc. It is called anterior because the cervical spine is reached through a small incision in the front of the neck (anterior means front). During the surgery, the soft tissues of the neck are separated and the disc is removed. In many cases, it is replaced with a metal cylinder which is fluted so as to allow the bone to grow through and fuse.

Prior to six years ago this coming March, I knew none of this. However it was then I experienced this procedure first hand and at that time was told I had another disc which was potentially suspect and may or may not present a problem in the future.

Fast forward into the future, i.e. now.

The old familiar pain and numbness is back.

Ergo my limited number of miles logged of late.

Off to the Doc tomorrow where I anticipate a prescription for some excellent narcotic based sleep aids and an MRI appointment.

Will keep you posted.

Tidbits

2008-01-25T10:19:00.000-05:00

As I sat and contemplated the fact that my job, while certainly necessary, often stands in the way of my true desires, I began to reflect on occupations in general. And as is often the case, this single thought soon morphed into another as my mind randomly leapt from one unrelated subject to the next.

The results follow:

Most people do not like their jobs. Instead they view their chosen occupation as little more than the means to an end, a necessary evil, the vehicle which provides the ability to periodically indulge in that which they do indeed love.

Those who do truly love their jobs are fortunate but few.

The inherent joy brought by a grandchild is by design, indescribable.

A puppy is the only creature alive that remains cute even after repeatedly pooping in the middle of the kitchen floor.

True friends are few and not to be taken for granted.

All people want a better life but many are unwilling to make the sacrifices and take the necessary risks to improve their circumstances.

The more I wear a tie, the more I’m convinced they should go the way of the 8-Track tape.

Parties are more fun when hosted by someone else.

Wearing the same running clothes for three consecutive days takes me to an entirely new level of grossness.

Hindsight is often cruel.

Crossword puzzles are a healthy addiction.

No matter how tired I am or how good the bed feels, getting up in the morning and going for a run seems to always be worth it.

Finding the perfect birthday card is proof that God exists.

As a rule, professional athletes are profoundly overrated and grossly overpaid.

People who willingly appear on programs such as the Jerry Springer Show, embarrass the entire human race.

Birthdays should always be remembered and acknowledged.

Few things in life top a well told story.

Golf is the quintessential exercise in personal growth.

Affordable Health Care is the biggest oxymoron of this century.

I Did Not Run Today - I Shoveled

2008-01-17T11:04:00.000-05:00

The weather forecast for today called for sleet and freezing rain.

I believe they missed it.

Seldom Is It Just Black Or White

2008-01-16T11:42:00.000-05:00

“Self doubt can be an ally. This is because it serves as an indicator of aspiration. It reflects love, love of something we dream of doing, and desire, desire to do it. If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends) ‘Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?’ chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self confident. The real one is scared to death.”
– Steven Pressfield

I came across this quote some time ago and it appealed to me on several levels. Consequently I promptly tucked it away in my “I’ll use this someday” file. Well, today is the day. Having worked for the past twenty years in a profession in which an inflated sense of self confidence and ego are essentially considered to be pre-requisites to success, I had never before considered any merit to be associated with self doubt.

On the contrary, self doubt was (and is) viewed in my profession, as in many others, as an indication of weakness, incompetence and failure. Therefore, while on life’s stage it lay safely (?) buried beneath a thin veneer of false bravado.

And while in many ways, this technique seemed to serve me well, I now recognize this method of dealing with self confidence issues as one fraught with pitfalls and one I’ve employed throughout all aspects of my life. What I have come to see is that by dealing with these issues in this manner, I created an internal environment which would inevitably collapse.

And eventually, it did.

And when it did, it forced me to open my eyes and think about myself and my way of thinking in a different context.

It forced me to be honest with myself.

It forced me to change.

And as a result, among other things, I now view self confidence and self doubt as two sides of the same coin, constantly complementing one another and keeping one another in check. I now know how important it is to remain alert so that one never allows the other to get out of hand.

I now realize these two states of consciousness are not mutually exclusive, but are instead mutually beneficial.

In other words, each is important in order to maintain balance in life.

Beth may tell you I completely forget about this when we play backgammon as I tend to get a tad (well, more than a tad) cocky, but believe me, it’s never been clearer to me in my life.

I suppose I’ve always known life isn’t only black or white but somehow, somewhere, I forgot for awhile.

It’s good to have the gray back in my life.

Santa's Number One Fan

2007-12-28T08:49:00.000-05:00

And Popeye's as well.

Christmas Greetings From Our House To Yours

2007-12-23T13:58:00.000-05:00

I Love These Things

2007-12-21T18:25:00.001-05:00

Thousands more free online cryptograms at Cryptograms.org.

It's A Wonderful Life

2007-12-15T09:56:00.001-05:00

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

A Unique View

2007-11-27T09:38:00.000-05:00

Steve is an old friend from my days in the U.S. Coast Guard. We served together aboard the USCGC Midgett in the mid 1970's.

We only reconnected within the past year and in doing so, I discovered his unique ability to capture much more than just the subject matter in a photo.

To view more, visit:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mozartandme/page1/

Trick or Treat

2007-11-15T18:44:00.000-05:00

Lei Lei was Jasmine.

Popeye was goofy.

And Meme was Meme.

26.2

2007-11-09T06:54:00.000-05:00

Depending on which report one reads, somewhere between one and two percent of the U.S. population has successfully completed a marathon. On October 28th, I joined this small group of people when I, along with 30,000 other runners stepped across the starting mat of the 32nd Annual Marine Corp Marathon in Washington D.C.

To say it was an amazing experience would be a gross understatement.

Everything from the densely packed start to the semi-isolation of the 4 mile Haines Point loop to the triumphant finish beneath the inflatable arches was in a word, remarkable. And even though I felt I was well prepared physically, I was completely overwhelmed by the intensity of the energy, adrenaline and excitement emanating from the multitudes of people, both in the race as well as along the course. Welcome shouts of encouragement and support from well wishers echoed throughout the 26.2 miles providing me and others with that little something extra when we needed it the most.

Completing this event signified the achievement of a personal goal; a goal quite frankly, I never even considered until a year ago. But more importantly, to do so in partnership with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team In Training program represented the true significance of this accomplishment.

For the past twenty years TNT, the world's largest endurance sports training program, has provided coaching and support for people like me to cross the finish line at marathons, cycling and triathlon events. In doing so, over 340,000 participants have raised more than $800 million to help blood cancer patients live better, longer lives.

Pretty impressive numbers which have produced very impressive results.

Such as advanced treatments, in-depth research and exceptional patient services; all resulting in lower mortality rates and a better quality of life for those individuals and families affected by blood cancers.

These diseases affect 1 out of every 5 people in this country and my brother-in-law, Billy Obenchain is one of them. For the past 6 years he has battled lymphoma and it was in his honor that I signed on with TNT.

And while I understood and believed in the mission of this organization, it wasn’t until the pre-race pasta party that I came to fully comprehend the Go Team spirit of Team In Training. As my wife Beth and I arrived at the hotel with our group and began to make our way towards the large conference room which would serve as our dining area, an increasingly loud roar filled the halls. The closer we got, the louder it became until we rounded a corner to see a large crowd of smiling TNT supporters, coaches, mentors and staff, all holding signs, clanging bells and cheering for us.

It was unbelievably emotional and incredibly inspiring and as we entered the room, we listened as the din of applause continued unabated as the next group arrived. This kept on until all 667 TNT participants, along with their guests were finally seated.

As we “carbed up” and got to know one another, our first speaker was introduced and came to the podium. Runner’s World columnist and TNT spokesperson, John “The Penguin” Bingham treated the crowd to his own brand of runner’s humor combined with the Society’s never ending message of perseverance, determination and confidence in the ultimate goal; a cure.

And in a short while, he introduced Lynn Oudekerk, a woman who’s self described ordinary life abruptly changed seven years prior with a single phone call. The call was one informing her of a conclusive diagnosis of Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Her ensuing battle took her through the rigors of both physical and emotional pain and in the process; she lost her ability to enjoy her ordinary life. But with a lot of help and support, she came out on the other side. And on this night, she stood before us as a testament to the success of the efforts of those who helped raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

When asked by some of her friends why she was running her second marathon, she replied, “Because I can and seven years ago, I could barely walk across the room.”

She concluded her talk by expressing her gratitude to those who raised money in support of the Society’s mission but as evidenced by the standing ovation she received; it was we who were grateful to her for sharing her story. And throughout the race the following day, I was equally grateful for the many TNT supporters who were quick to shout encouragement to every purple shirt clad runner who passed by.

When I finished the marathon, I was very proud to have accomplished my goal and grateful for all the help I received along the way.

My TNT coach, Mike Arrington drove 35 miles from Blacksburg every Saturday morning to meet and run with me at 5am and my family, friends and co-workers continually encouraged me, even though at times I’m sure they all thought I was nuts.

In addition, I appreciate the encouragement received from the blogging community; specifically Amy’s Running Life who always found time to offer words of support even while her youthful energy kept her running full speed while working full time, attending classes and planning her upcoming wedding.

And also Fe-Lady who continually demonstrates that being over fifty in no way means you’re over the hill. There have been many mornings during the past six months when reading her blog has helped me overcome the “I just don’t want to do this today” mentality.

I’m very grateful to you both.

But by far, my biggest supporter and asset was, and is my wife.

She stood by me during all the months of training making sure I was always well fed, properly hydrated and reasonably well rested.

She reassured me when I had doubts of my own.

She jumped on and off the Metro in D.C. so she could cheer me on at various locations along the route and she (perhaps too gleefully) dumped bags of ice into the tub afterwards so as to hasten my recovery.

Thank you Beth, I love you and I couldn’t have done this without you.

Along with this sense of pride in accomplishment is also the pride of being a member of Team In Training. It is an association I will always treasure and the true significance of Go Team! will never diminish.

The Finish

2007-10-31T18:45:00.000-05:00

Bib No 29111
Age 51
Gender Place 10548
Division Place 919
Overall Place 16336
Finish Time 05:21:39.00

more to follow ....

Training Time

2007-10-22T08:21:00.000-05:00

For the past six months I have trained on average, 5 days a week, rising most mornings before dawn.

When I began training, the temperatures were brisk, the trees only beginning to bud and the pre-dawn darkness remaining throughout the workout.

As the days turned into weeks and the first light of morning came earlier and earlier, I saw spring’s beauty unfold followed by the oppressive heat of July and August.

And now, I’m back where I began; cooler temperatures, falling leaves and darkness throughout the run.

It’s been quite a journey and in some ways, I’m amazed at how quickly the time has passed. The biggest surprise however, is how much time has been consumed by this endeavor. Having never trained for a marathon, I had no point of reference to measure the time required. It isn’t only the hours spent running which takes up a great deal of time. It’s also the hours spent recovering.

I discovered as the mileage increased, the fatigue factor compounded. What once constituted a full night’s sleep thereby sufficiently restoring the body, became grossly inadequate. As a result, additional time was needed for rest, both to sleep as well as to just sit and stare blankly into space.

And this all consuming enterprise hasn’t only impacted me. It's effected Beth also, as much of what she has done over the past six months has revolved around making sure I was properly fed, adequately hydrated and reasonably rested. And she has done a fantastic job. In fact, I would not have made it this far without her help and support.

Recently after reading an article in Runner’s World magazine, I mentioned the New York City marathon as a potential goal for 2008.

Beth was quick to point out that 2009 might be a better idea as our time together during the past six months, while very good, has been extremely limited as a result of the marathon training.

At first, my response was to say this was my decision but the truth is, she’s absolutely right. Making the decision to take on a challenge such as this isn’t only mine to make. It’s ours because we’re a team.

And as race day draws near, I’m glad she will be there to share this part of the experience with me as well. Right now I’m both nervous and excited. To do something one’s never done is good. To do something one never considered possible is great.

Thanks to all of you for your support and encouragement and look for a full report in the coming weeks.

Twenty Two

2007-10-06T10:48:00.000-05:00

It's taper time.

My Team In Training coach says the adrenaline will carry me the additional 4.2 miles.

I sure could have used some this morning.

Feel free to innundate me with all manner of confidence building inspiration.

I believe I will need all I can get.

Thanks.

Twenty

2007-09-22T08:31:00.000-05:00

Too tired to type.

Growing Up Too Fast

2007-09-08T11:02:00.000-05:00

Popeye's angel on her first day of pre-school.

Nineteen

2007-09-08T08:47:00.001-05:00

There was a day when if someone told me I would be doing this,

I would have thought them insane.

Now most of my (non-running) friends think I am insane.

Just goes to show - sanity is relative.

Two Words

2007-09-06T13:10:00.000-05:00

Mistakes and Regrets:

Two simple words whose depth of meaning belie their simple syllabic form.

Two small words which carry vast burdens of oppressive weight.

Two short words whose import are both eye opening and life changing.

Two words I carry with me.

Eighteen

2007-09-01T10:44:00.001-05:00

Last week was supposed to be a “step back” week with a long run of only 10 miles however following the mid-week run on Wednesday and Thursday, my right knee began to give me a bit of a problem.

By Friday, I was walking about like Chester from Gunsmoke (telling my age here) and so on the advice of my TNT coach I stepped off instead of back.

I did not run last Saturday nor the following Monday. On Tuesday I went to the gym to cross train and on Wednesday resumed my training.

Today’s long run felt great – no knee issues.

If only I didn’t have to go to work ….

EL=LHSB²

2007-08-22T12:53:00.000-05:00

Albert Einstein is perhaps the most famous scientist of this century and one of his most well-known accomplishments is the Theory of Relativity, expressed by the formula E=MC².

In this well known (albeit little understood) equation, the 'E' stands for 'energy', the 'M' for 'mass' and the 'C' for 'celeritas', which is the Latin word meaning swift and denotes the speed of light.

I am neither famous nor even close to a genius however I too have made a profound discovery:

The Theory of Relativity Related to Running.

EL=LHSB²

Extreme Lethargy = Little Hydration times Several Beers squared.

I validated this theory this morning as I slogged through 9 painfully slow miles.

Seventeen

2007-08-18T08:14:00.000-05:00

Nothing feels quite like going where you've never gone before.

Sixteen

2007-08-11T08:13:00.000-05:00

Slow but steady.

Sore but satisfied.

Tired as crap.

Fifteen

2007-08-04T07:37:00.000-05:00

A new day.

A new challenge.

A new milestone.

New Ground

2007-07-25T07:22:00.000-05:00

New ground has been broken!

This past Saturday I ran the longest distance I’ve ever run – 14 miles. And although there is still a long way to go before I’m ready for 26.2, I’m definitely on my way. From this point forward, almost every Saturday will mark a new distance record as I continue to build on the week before.

And while I won’t pretend this is easy, it has been rather pleasant during the past week. The mild temperatures and low humidity have made for ideal conditions and the beauty of the Roanoke Valley is nothing short of spectacular. I’m grateful to be outside taking it all in.

Hopefully this trend will continue as we move into August.

For all who have been able to make a financial contribution to my Team In Training goal, I sincerely thank you. Because of your generosity, we’ve raised $2580.00 so far! That will go a long way towards helping those in need.

And for all who continually lend their moral support, I thank you as well. It goes a long way towards getting me up before dawn each morning and continuing to put one foot in front of the other.

Like this morning ... 7 miles ... the last in the rain.

"In the end, forming our own destiny is what ambition is about." - Joseph Epstein

Twenty Five

2007-07-18T07:14:00.001-05:00

July 18, 1982

The middle of summer, late afternoon
a break from the heat, a modest bedroom.
Restless you’d grown, stirring about
if one word you knew, it would’ve been out!

The time had arrived, no more delay
for God had decided, today was your day.
So greeting the world, you did loudly proclaim
I’m here to stay, Abbey Rae is my name!

And with each passing day, I came to see
you completed your brother, mother and me.
Where once we were three, an uneven set
Now we were four, how good would it get?

The years flew by, as I worked like a fool
till suddenly one day, you started school.
Drawings and cards and many gold stars
soon filled my briefcase, office and cars.

Summers in camp, by the great lake
new adventures to live, and friends to make.
Kohanna for you, Leelanau for Ben
six more years pass, on the billowing wind.

Teen years saw change, not always fun
a family divided, no longer one.
Did I do enough and all that I should
I hope you know I did the best I could.

Unhappy distance, bitterness and pain
Clouded our days with unending rain.
Till into our world, one winter’s day
Lei Lei arrived, showing the way.

To reconcile, that which was lost
a father, a daughter, who’s lives had been tossed.
Drawing us close, just as before
burying the past, closing the door.

Twenty-five years, quickly has passed
a roller coaster ride, how long will it last?
No matter the time and come what may
My love for you, will always stay.

Happy Birthday Abbey.

Transition

2007-07-16T07:21:00.001-05:00

This past Saturday carried a certain import for me in that it marks a transition of sorts.

In training for the Marine Corp Marathon, we do our long runs on Saturday mornings and this past weekend we logged 13+ miles. The reason this is a transition is that going forward, each ensuing Saturday run (with the exception of a couple of step backs) will mark a new distance record for me.

I’ll be entering un-chartered waters as they say.

Another reason this past weekend serves as a transition is that my Saturday Guy status is over. After approximately 7 months of being off on Saturdays, I am changing positions within the company and as a result will once again return to the world where TGIF means nothing.

C’est la vie.

Classical Daybreak

2007-07-11T08:08:00.000-05:00

At 4:45 am this morning - as it does most mornings - my alarm went off. And by alarm, I mean my clock radio, which remains eternally tuned to our local NPR affilliate. From midnight until 5:30 am, a Classical music format dominates their airwaves and so, before I arose for my morning run, I lay in the quiet darkness of my bedroom and listened to the timeless sounds.

And as the beautifully evocative music filled my senses ... I thought.

I thought of all the wonderful blessings I've received in my life and how far too often, I've neglected to stop and recognize them as such.

I thought of the many times when I've allowed life's trials and tribulations to overshadow the inherent good which surrounds me.

I thought of the bouts of self pity which periodically blinds me to reality.

And I thought of the beautiful woman lying next to me who is always there - for me and with me, whether I deserve her love or not; who always helps me keep things in perspective; who gives my life balance and meaning; who makes my life complete ... and I thought to myself how could I possibly live without her.

I decided this was a wonderful way to begin my day.

Thank you Beth.

I love you.

"I see skies of blue..... clouds of white. Bright blessed days....dark sacred nights. And I think to myself .....what a wonderful world." - Sung by Louis Armstrong